The Haunted House

by Kelly Paige
(Baltimore, Maryland)

Once there were two girls who were best friends and did everything together. Their names were Sally and Meredith. They both liked these two boys, and the boys liked them. So one day those boys asked Sally and Meredith out. They said yes.


They went on dates. Sally and her boyfriend, Max, went somewhere so they could be alone. Sally and Max went to a haunted house. They were both nervous because a lot of people who went in, never came out.

They entered the haunted house and were the only ones there. Everybody thought someone lived there, and someone did.

They went into a bedroom on the top floor. And laid down. Then somebody started whispering in Sally's ear "Get out now." Sally asked "did you hear that?" Max said "hear what?" Sally said "never mind it was probably just my imagination". Max was confused.

Sally heard something say "I said get out." Sally said "I think we should get out." He said "Why? nothing's gonna happen, nothing is gonna happen." Sally said "Okay."

They went in for a kiss. She heard "I'M COMING TO GET YOU. YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." Sally said to Max, "Max please let's go. I'm hearing things and they're telling me to get out now or else it's gonna kill me." "What do you think it is?" Max said confused. "I think it might be a ghost or a spirit." "There's no such things a ghost or spirits." Max said.

Then a door appeared on the wall. Max was thinking that someone was just playing with him to get him scared an put it around school. Max started walking up to the door. Sally screamed "Max don't!" Max said "It's just people playing with us."

Max opened the door and there was a note that said "get out of my house or I will kill you and your girlfriend." Max started saying "This is stupid we could be doing stuff better than being threatened."

Sally disappeared. Max started screaming for Sally. He heard a loud scream come from the new door. Max ran toward the door but then the door swung open and Max got locked in the room. He heard a voice yelling at him. He started looking for Sally in the room that he was in. He couldn't find her. Then he started saying back "let my girlfriend back."

One of Max's friend walked into the room. He saw Max skinned and Sally with blood down her face and a knife in her throat.

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Jul 19, 2009
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Pretty Good
by: Michaela

Pretty good except you might want to add more suspense

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