T'aint so
by Haleigh
(Morewood, Ontario)
Old Mr. Dinkins was very ill, so they sent for a doctor. When the doctor came, old man Dinkins said, "there's nothing wrong with me!"
"You're dying," said the doctor.
"T'aint so!" said Mr. Dinkins but the next day he was dead.
So they put the old man in his coffin; then they carried him to a church and had a funeral; then they buried him.
The next morning, a neighbour passing the graveyard on his way to work saw old man Dinkins sitting on the graveyard fence.
"Hello there! I thought you were dead," said the neighbour. "T'aint so!" said old man Dinkins.
The neighbor went to Mrs. Dinkins and told her that her husband was sitting on the graveyard fence and said he was not dead.
"Pay no attention." said the widow. "He's foolish."
Later another neighbour was passing the graveyard and heard someone say, "Hello Tom."
"Hello," said Tom and stopped for a chat. "It's you, is it?"
"Sure." said old man Dinkins.
"I heard you were dead."
"T'aint so!"
"I heard about the burial."
"Well, you can see I'm not buried."
"That's so," said the neighbour and went on his way, somewhat puzzled.
The next day one of the town's men was passing by the graveyard on horseback. He heard some one say, "Hello." He stopped to see who it was. He saw a very old man sitting on the fence, who said, "What's the news from town?"
"Not much news, except that old man Dinkins is dead."
"T'aint so!"
"That's what they said."
"Well,T'aint so."
"How do you know?" asked the man.
"I'm Dinkins."
"Oh!" said the man and rode away from that place pretty fast.
He stopped at the next store and said, "There's a funny old fellow on the fence that says he's old man Dinkins."
"Can't possibly be." said the storekeeper.
"Why not?"
"Because old man Dinkins is dead."
This kept going on week after week, month after month. The whole town knew that old man Dinkins was dead; but old man Dinkins was sitting on the graveyard fence saying "T'aint so!"
After much talk, the town's folk decided to hold another burial service.
So they said the burial service over old man Dinkins grave for a second time and set up a grave stone.
The words on the gravestone said:
Here lies the body of
Theodore Dinkins
Age 91
Respected Citizen of Wadmalaw Island
Who died
January 17,1853The next day when old man Dinkins crawled out of his grave to sit on the fence, he saw the stone. He read it over carefully 3 times. "Well-maybe so." he said.
He hasn't yelled at anyone from the graveyard since.
