Return to the haunted house

by Jose
(Atlantic City)

You just can't stay away. As most of you know I was the one who went to the haunted house and my friend Marco Diaz died right? As you may also know my name is Zack Matthews and right now I have two new friends. Their names are Ginger Balre and Matt Wald.

"Hey zack" called Matt. "How come you never told us how your friend Marco died? Yeah tell us, how did he die?" said Ginger.

I was wondering if I should tell them the truth or just say he died from a car crash. I decided it was time they knew the truth. "OK, my friend died from the ghost of Chris Masters the ghost of the haunted house on center hill. "For real, he died because he got killed by the ghost?" said Ginger.

I looked over at Matt, he had a face of doubt like saying your lying if you want me to believe you show me. "Zack, if he really did die show us. Go back to the haunted house on center hill and take us with you".

"No I can't risk my life and yours again. I went over there once I don't want to go back to that house the ghost probably wants me to go back. Zack just take us no one will get hurt. Are you a chicken." "No! it's just that a friend died once. I don't want a second one to die or maybe the both of you or the three of us." "Just take us".

"OK, we'll go to that house to show you that my friend did die. Most of the news shows people who see bones where the person died so maybe the bones of my friend remain and the message he wrote. I'll show you that tonight".

All day I thought about the brutal things we will experience in that house like I did, seeing my friend get his flesh torn away from his skin.

At eleven o'clock we were at the house. "GO Zack, get in the house." "OK I'll go but when we see everything I told you about we leave before the ghost comes. Got it? Got it? Good". "Now let's go" I said.

We walked inside. I had chills running down my back and now I have to return wondering what we got ourselves into. "Zack Matthews you have returned to my house. This time you will never escape." said a voice from who knows where. Then the ghost appeared on the stairway. I remembered him, the ghost of Rick Masters. "Well, ready for another showdown. Last time you got lucky, but now you won't." "Wait, wait, we're just here so we can see the remains of my friend Marco. You know the one you skinned?" "oh yeah, well you can see it while I kill you". We ran everywhere while we split up Ginger and Matt saw the message and the skull of my friend. "All right Zack I believe." "Me too" the two yelled.

Matt tripped and I thought I was about to see the same thing that happened last time but Ginger helped him and saved him just in time before the ghost could even touch him. They ran into a room and hid somewhere. "Zack I can't get the knife but I sure can catch you, so you better hide somewhere where I can't find you". The ghost went in search for me but he found out that I hid in the kitchen. "Zack, you're about to find out my true powers".

He raised his hands and knives and other sharp object raised from drawers. He pointed at me and all the objects followed his fingers. I ducked so the objects couldn't even touch me. Part of them did and I got cut everywhere they touched me. "Ha ha ha. Now you would learn even more of my powers." I ran to the next room and hid in the first place I saw. Matt then came out and so did Ginger. "Hey guys, what are you doing here? Hiding? Oh well, great." Matt yelled. "The ghost did you get him? What?" I yelled.

Matt how can you work with him. In case you didn't know I'm also a ghost I'm the son of Rick Masters. And now we'll kill you, me and my dad. HA HA HA HA HA HA.

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Feb 22, 2008
Work harder please
by: PhilG

Hi Jose,

This is your webmaster. I really like your stories, and I'm anxious to see your upcoming ones.

I encourage submissions without requiring perfect grammar or spelling, but I am having to make extensive changes to correct virtually every line in your stories.

Please pay more attention to the use of quotation marks ( xxx. "yyy) instead of (xxx." yyy)

Watch your capitalization... I versus i and proper names, Zack not zack

Watch when one person speaks then a different person speaks. Finish one quote and start another like xxx." "Yyy." Note the capital Y.

Then spelling and the ever-confusing there, their, they're. These can cause a story to breakdown.

Please use a spell checker so we know you are trying. Study my pages regarding grammar and spelling etc. Go to the Site map for help. Read it and re-read it.

I know you are able to do better because your stories are fairly involved. Put your best foot forward. If you want to submit many stories that's wonderful, but I cannot be publishing my work (corrections) instead of yours (good work).

Overall, and this goes for everyone, your stories, will be on the web for a long, long time... give me your best efforts, please.

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