It would help to know the age/grade range so that it is obvious what will be learned and what has been missed. In regards to the story, it has its clear intro, climax, and conclusion. Good imagery and use of adjectives. Try to encourage your imagination in regards to story themes, but good creativity with the one you chose. Keep it up!!
PhilG: I do have a section for supplying comprehensive story reviews. You seem to have lots of constructive things to say. Simply follow the title instructions in Story Reviews when submitting your review.
