My name is Ryan

by Joseph J
(silversprings, nv, us)

I dont like the others. Others are mean and are not nice to me. They look at me with the same sad face that mommy and my teacher give me. The other ones are fast and are smart, and my teacher says if I dont learn to act like them, no one will be nice to me.

I dont like class. I dont like having to draw their dumb pictures. But my teacher says that if I dont do what she says that I will get in trouble. I dont want to be in trouble ever again. No one is nice to me when im in trouble, they laugh at me and look at me mean. Teacher makes me color. I have to color with my hands, I dont like how gooey the color gets, and I dont like red.

Sometimes I feel sick. My arms and legs hurt even when I move them. Sarah says its because I dont do what im supposed to. I dont like Sarah. Sarah tells the others to be mean to me. But Sarah was selected. So I cant be mean to her.

Sometimes we get to go out. Dr. Telman says to go out, we have to do what we are told. He is tall. Not like teacher, and he has a strange thing he writes on. Teacher is afraid of Dr. Telman and says to do what he says. It is always dark when we are out. Dr. Telman says we go when its dark so the people dont find us. I have never seen a people, but all of us can smell them.

The selected have a special job. When we go out, they are the only ones who get to see the people. I have to help pull the bags with the others. The bags are heavy. They make my hands and legs hurt. If I dont help, Sarah says they will leave me out. Sarah says that bad things happen to us when we stay out. I think Dr. Telman called it "exterminated". I asked him what it meant, so when we went back, Dr. Telman kept Philip out with him.

The next time out, the others got in a circle and said "Ryan, Rhan!" There was ugly marks in the dirt. I was still sad when we had to go. Sarah was smiling at me. Sarah has never smiled at me before.

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