Just a seizure

by Brianna Abrego
(Waukegan Illinois)

Andrea had never had a seizure. She wasn't epileptic or anything. No fever nothing. But for some reason she was having a tonic-clonic seizure. Her friends got scared and called an ambulance.


It turned out she had had a heart attack and an asthma attack at the same time . But why ? A psychologist in training went and talked to her and left the room a few minutes later seeming both confused and scared.

"She said that something was after her. With claws and a burnt face bleeding from the mouth." She explained to one of the friends. "Her mind probably got damaged from the heart and asthma attack." One friend said. The psychologist made a sudden horrified expression .

"The doctors found long scratches all over her. It seemed like it was from knives."

That night, one of the friends, her name was Cassidy,went to see Andrea. " I-It's coming. Run !" Andrea screamed. "It's coming for me. Help!"
Confuse, Cassidy went over to her bed. But something aproached from under the bed. Cassidy jumped back. The thing slowly came out from under the bed and Cassidy screamed. It was bleeding from the mouth, its knife-like claws stained with blood as well. Its face was torn up literally. Almost immpossible to see any of its facial details. It ran at them.

The second friend came in the room and saw her two friends cut open and dead. She went insane. No one believed what she'd told them . Except the psychologist in training, she would visit her every week in the psychiatric ward. One day she got a call, and she knew, the thing would be after her. But when? Tonight?

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Nov 28, 2011
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creepy
by: andrea

i think this scared me cuz i have the same name!!! sooooo yeah pretty good im also a "young writer" i have two stories so far.... this story was good but it just needed a little more detail other than that very well put together :)

May 27, 2010
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good
by: critics

i thought it was quite good yeah

Mar 16, 2010
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Good Writing
by: Austin

I really thought it was good writing and good imagination just try and use more detail more possible but good story what am I rating this 4 stars? Nah it deserves five

Mar 07, 2010
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Very good!
by: Victoria

Hello,
My name is Victoria and I am thirteen years old, but I have much writing experience. Well done, I loved it! You did what was called a cliffhanger there at the end, and the whole thing was not to broad or not to narrow. The cliffhanger leaves the reader wanting more and thinking about what may happen, making a hypothesis.

The only thing I would suggest is that it was difficult to follow a long, especially at the end, particularly. It was somewhat confusing but the readers get the jist of it and I really did enjoy it you could be a great writer someday so keep it up!

Feb 14, 2010
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loved it
by: Jade

i like this story its intrsting

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