this sounds more like a IF poem. not bad by the way. but you couldve added more events or eloborate or deteails. more horror will also be goood but i liked it :]
Oct 02, 2009 Rating
uuuhhh by: Anonymous
work ALOT harder. its all in the detail dude.
Jun 03, 2009 Rating
um by: Anonymous
was this supposed to be scary??? at all??? srry try WAAAAAY harder next time
Mar 19, 2009 Rating
ok by: Anonymous
listen.... if she's dead, she canit hear. if she's dead, she can't see, if she's dead, she can't feel. This story made no sense and anyway, what happened why shouldn't she have gone to the club and you didn't really explain about the guy who was apparently in the car behind her! So.. ummm.. what happened??
Dec 29, 2008 Rating
Good Job! by: Steph
Good poem. It didn't bore me. You are telling a story and I think that is important to note. It had a good meaning. Well done. However I think you could have gone into a little more detail, but overall quite good.
Jul 28, 2008 Rating
What! by: Anonymous
This is supposed to be a story...not a poem. It barely makes sense...also kinda boring!
