My buoyancy theory can help you correct bad behaviour with a simple image that will be impossible to forget. First, some background. What brought this to mind was one of the episodes of Married with Children where Bud Bundy was helping his sister, Kelly, cram for some exam.
By week's end she was rattling off all of the right answers to Bud's questions. Then, the doorbell rang, and Kelly was lost. "What's that?" she asked. Sadly, Kelly's brain had filled up so much with her lessons that some older, basic information spilled out, like, what a doorbell was.
OK, now picture this. It's not bad enough that kids grow up too fast with all the bullies, deteriorating schools, mean neighbours, questionable friends et cetera. These equate to the water in a large channel like the Panama Canal. Now, when a ship is in water, even though it may weigh several thousand kilograms, it manages to float. This is accomplished through Buoyancy. That upward force on the ship is equal to the weight of the water it displaces and as a result, it floats.
Good, now we put some good influences into the channel, a small boat... it floats. So... put some more good influences in, a much bigger boat... floating. Now a super-tanker, and it still floats... but the water may rise a little because the super-tanker, all of the good influences, are in a small space.
Ultimately, we stack so much onto the super-tanker that the water overflows, like Kelly Bundy's memory. Got it?
OK... a little hokey, but it is my web-site!
The idea is that the ship will never (all things in balance) sink. It will displace all of the water and occupy that small space. This is the theory you can use to correct bad behaviour. Focus on delivering positives. It's likely too late to deal with the negatives in any way that won't cause resentment, stress or strain in the relationship with your child. Many positive influences, tasks, duties, play, interactions, challenges and the like will stay afloat and displace the negatives.
I'll repeat it another way. Don't waste your time keeping James away from that nasty Billy, or the mall, or yelling at him if he swears and stomps around like an old grump. It's too late to correct bad behaviour. It's a waste of energy and causes more harm than good. Instead, schedule some time with James to do something constructive and fun. You will join the instant parenthood revolution and take the lead, and you will be patient.
You will direct the activity in a supervisory way, guiding while remaining hands off. If nothing comes of it the first time, wait a suitable time and try again with a twist. If nothing else, you spent two hours with your child that you otherwise would have missed out on.
Have you seen these behaviours in your child?
Biting, spitting and pinching Fighting, pushing, pulling and hitting Screaming and yelling Swearing, cursing, cussing Bullying, teasing and taunting Stomping, sulking and moping around Lying, cheating and stealing
In keeping with my focus, writing short stories has all of the key components you need to spark a ship-load of good intentions and hopefully correct bad behaviour.
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