A Long Story Short
A coin from Scotland
Imagine. You’re a middle aged guy up to no good and you find a slightly dull 10 pence. Uh, Oh right? Uh, Oh indeed…
So this 10 pence gets dirty so you get out some ketchup as the acid can remove the dirt, thus making it shiny. Now you are left with a shiny ten pence and no more ketchup. You pop down to the news agents to get the ketchup.
You find some marshmallows and ta da, it's 10 pence. You think about buying it but see the mold and you don’t want to risk it. You go back to your flat and you're left with a shiny 10 pence, a full ketchup bottle and an empty stomach.
You start by eating a bread but by the time you're done you’ve emptied out all of your fridge.
You're left with, a shiny 10 pence, a full ketchup bottle, a stuffed stomach but an empty fridge!
You go down to a store and you get some groceries, then you come back to your flat. You're left with, a shiny 10 pence, a full ketchup bottle, a stuffed stomach, a full fridge but now your bored!
You start by rolling your shiny 10 pence across your hand but somehow you accidentally swallow it. After spending the night in the E.R., you feel hungry again and you have a craving for some Frittos. You build a time machine and go back to 2005 where Frittos were 10 pence. You “accidentally” go forward in time where Frittos are 50 pence. (I know right!) You're left with, a shiny, regurgitated 10 pence, a full ketchup bottle, an empty stomach, a full fridge and you're feeling a bit miffed.
You go back to our year and eat marmite toast. It turns out you hate marmite but
it has managed to fill you up. You try and save the penny as a penny saved is a penny earned but it turns out you're not that good at saving. (You think(!))
As an act of good deed (and to try and make you feel better) you give it to a homeless person, (now, isn’t that nice!). I bet you're thinking that’s that story ended, but that’s where you're wrong!
The homeless guy (let’s call him Ted) Ted, recognises that 10 pence and tries to pawn it, but he “accidentally” fell over (what is up with these people!) and so the coin falls down a drain. A rat, (Ew, right!) called… Matt (Matt the rat.. I know, sorry) finds this coin and places it on his back (don’t ask me how he did that.) He climbs through the pipes until he reaches the sewer gate and climbs out and sees the world for about five seconds into he is splatted by a 300 pound guy.
(Urgh…) Two naughty boys find the ten pence and glue it onto the ground. They set up their camcorder nearby and tape as they see people effortlessly trying to grab that penny of the ground. 25 years later the camera is still rolling taking videos. By that time, scientists have managed to formulate a solution to get inanimate objects to talk. They try this solution on the penny in which he... Lenny (Lenny the Penny, Oh sorry!) started to talk about his life and Paul, Ted, and Matt.
He is then commemorated for 50 years as his long life as a penny and Paul, Ted and Matt are remembered forever. Aw Happy Ending Right? … No. Long story short a bunch of aliens take over the world and incinerated that penny. You happy? No. Thought so!